From Finding Community to Leading It

From Member to ChairLady Then came the Phoenix elections. When it was time to choose a chairperson, the members were ready to vote for me. Today, I am proud to serve as ChairLady of Phoenix Amsterdam. Sometimes I think about the journey that brought me here. I think about the person who first walked into that small Phoenix meeting at Worldhouse.I had arrived in the Netherlands without knowing anyone. My confidence and self-esteem had been deeply affected by what I had experienced. I was so shy that speaking during a group discussion was difficult. Today, I chair that same community.

My First Phoenix Meeting I still remember the first Phoenix meeting I attended. It was held in a small space within wereldhuis , but the room was full of people. I was especially happy to meet many people from Uganda. After arriving in the Netherlands without knowing anyone, suddenly being surrounded by people with whom I shared a culture and background meant so much to me. I made new friends. I felt connected. Because of what I had been through before coming to the Netherlands, I had lost much of my confidence and self-esteem. At first, I was very shy during Phoenix meetings. I listened to other people, but I found it difficult to contribute to the discussions myself. But I kept coming. With every meeting, I became a little more comfortable. Eventually, I started contributing to discussions and expressing my opinions. Slowly, I began to find my voice again. I remember the chairperson at the time asking me to help register the names of people attending the meetings. It may sound like a small responsibility, but for me, it was another step towards becoming involved and feeling that I was part of the community.

Becoming the Person Who Welcomes Others As Phoenix grew, I began seeing new members coming into our meetings. Sometimes I could recognize something familiar in them. I remembered what it was like when I was the new person walking into that room. I remembered being shy. I remembered lacking confidence. And I remembered how much it helped when I started making friends. So when I saw a new member, I would often walk over and talk to them. I would tell them:

"It is a matter of time. Eventually, you will have the courage and confidence."

Staying Connected from Delfzijl My journey then took me away from Amsterdam. After my Dublin procedure expired, I went to Ter Apel to seek asylum and was eventually placed in an asylum reception centre in Delfzijl. Being so far away made attending Phoenix meetings difficult. Travelling between Delfzijl and Amsterdam was expensive, and I could no longer attend regularly. Still, whenever I had the opportunity and could manage the journey, I came. Phoenix had already become an important part of my life, and I wanted to maintain that connection. Eventually, I received my BSN number and managed to secure a job in Amsterdam. I was transferred to an asylum reception centre in Amsterdam so that I could start working. I was incredibly happy. Not only could I work, but I was also close to my Phoenix community again.

Finding Phoenix When I arrived in the Netherlands, I did not know anyone. I was in a new country, trying to understand my surroundings while carrying the weight of everything I had experienced before coming here. During that time, I discovered an app called City Rights Amsterdam, which helped me get in contact with wereldhuis . When I went to wereldhuis, I was warmly received. I explained my journey and the situation I was facing at that moment. They listened to me, guided me and told me about Phoenix, an LGBTQI+ community where I could meet people like me, including asylum seekers and undocumented LGBTQI+ people. They helped me connect with Phoenix. I did not know it then, but that introduction would become an important turning point in my life.

Returning to Phoenix I resumed attending Phoenix meetings. When I returned, I noticed something wonderful: Phoenix had grown. There were many new faces and more members than when I had first joined.Our meetings cover different topics that are important in our lives, including identity and personal experiences, mental health and self-care, gender expression and many other issues. The meetings give us opportunities to learn from each other, share experiences and have conversations that we may not always feel comfortable having elsewhere. The last Friday of every month is also our social gathering. Those gatherings give us time to relax, make friends, laugh, connect and simply enjoy being together. For someone who arrived in the Netherlands without knowing anyone, those friendships have meant a great deal to me.

I also encouraged them to make friends and connect with other members because I knew how much friendship had helped me. Something had changed. I had entered Phoenix needing other people to encourage me. Now, I was encouraging others.